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When it comes to marriage, secular culture doesn’t empower success, and the fact is, church-world marriage stats aren’t much better.

But what about our marriages - The marriages of ministers?

Your union is designed to nurture you amidst ministry demands, and to be a light in darkness for others. Your marriage matters! So we invite you to have a conversation about how it’s doing these days.

Find a moment together, and ask these questions:

Honey, does our marriage get what it deserves?

Marriage warrants prioritization. Subtly we think, “God will take care of my house if I take care of His,” and we can neglect our own house. This shouldn’t be. Our primary responsibility is each other, and He is the one who is building His Church. Fortunately, He has promised us grace.

“Your marriage is designed to nurture you amidst ministry demands, and to be a light in darkness for others.”

Truth: When we give it our best, marriage fulfills its wild potential to meet every desire of our hearts, and to be what those around us need to see in our lives the most. Hence it deserves our best. How can you give to it?

Baby, how well do you think you know me?

Romance thrives on discovery of each other, not on devotion to our ministry - no matter how noble that may be. The taxing, other-people-based nature of our work doesn’t ever justify a lack of pursuit at home.

Truth: Your spouse is a wonder-filled, intoxicating adventure waiting to happen to you. How can you begin it?

Hey Love-of-my-life, want to talk about sex?

In time-strapped ministry life we can bury the difficult topic of sex. As the demands of ministry life pile on, the trend is to lose site of the dreams of the increasing sexual intimacy you once held as a couple. Sexual dissatisfaction can be tricky to solve.

Truth: A couple’s sex-life is a leading indicator of marriage health, and as such is worthy of talk-time to help move it in the right direction. The quality of what happens between the sheets is actually both a measure of and a momentum-creator for marriage health. How can you get there more often?

As you ask these questions; stay curious. Ask, listen deeply, and ask some more. You’ll find as you do, your marriage will nurture you and be a light for others. Your marriage matters!

Rowan and Mara enjoy a thriving marriage of 25 years, and four wonderful children. They co-pastor Gateway Victory Church in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. For more about their church, and their work with couples check out and


Pastors Rowan & Mara Fraser
Gateway Victory Church
Calgary, AB